Macaroni and Gin graphic

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MACARONI AND GIN: Easy-to-fix dish

1 Box Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
1 quart gin

I've always enjoyed macaroni and cheese. Since my divorce, I've eaten it on many occasions, including my birthday. It's an easy-to-fix dish that's inexpensive and a delicious complement to any cocktail.

Mix yourself a nice big cool one and throw it down the hatch just to warm up your old cooking muscles. Mix another and look around for some nuts or pretzels or something to snack on while you enjoy your cocktails and look forward to the tastes ahead. Cue up another drink as soon as you've drained number two and number three. Try something fancy, like a gin fizz. Take your time with this one. Savor the flavor, as they say. Next, hunt around for a saucepan. If I also locate the wooden spoons, I'll have two Martinis. They help me concentrate on my cooking, and they give me the strength to look around for the macaroni box. Your bottle should be just about drained now. Polish it off, throw the macaroni in the pan and turn on the heat. Run to the liquor store and pick up another bottle of gin. By the time you get home the macaroni and cheese will be done. If you like your macaroni and cheese a little crunchy, stop at the tavern on the way home and chug a beer or two.

Courtesy of "Old Frank Beedle", National Lampoon (circa 1979)
Preparation Time? 2 hours



1 cup of butter, 1 cup of sugar, 4 large eggs, 1 cup dried fruit, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 tsp soda, 1 tsp salt, lemon juice, brown sugar, 1 or 2 quarts whiskey, nuts.

Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good huh?

Select a large mixing bow, measureing cup, etc.

Check the whiskey again to make sure it's just right and not losing out to evaporation.

To be sure the whiskey is of the highest quality, pour one level cup into a large, drinking glass and drink as fast as you can.


With an alectric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffly bowl. Add 1 tsp. thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure the whickey is of the finest quality, cry another tup. Open second quart is necessary.

Add 2 large eggs, 2 c. fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters just pry it loose with a drewdriver.

Sample the whitkey agian, checking for consicicticity, then sift 3 c. of salt or anything,it really doesn't matter.

Sample the whickey.

Sift 1/2 pint of lemeon juce. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bobblespoon brown thrgar, or whaever color you can find and mix well. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350. now pur the hole mess in coven and ak for 1 tmr by our.

Check the wickey agin and gotobed!

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